When it comes to motherhood, do you find yourself getting bogged down when things get tough? Wherever it stems from, frustration, disappointment, and failure are bound to happen. That’s just mom life for ya. One strategy that can be applied again and again is being able to identify even the smallest bit of humor and fun when things aren’t going your way. Laughing: a secret weapon for moms even when life stinks (sometimes literally).

Though certainly not perfect and continuing to learn this strategy myself, I find the two following stories from my life to be helpful.

STORY 1: A REAL-LIFE GAME OF EVIL TETRIS

Car sickness, aching limbs, and insufferable boredom: this depicts what a pessimist sees in a long car trip. On the other end of the spectrum is the optimist who might remark on the breathtaking, lush scenery or be found drawing smiley faces on the fogged-up window while humming an agreeable tune. Who of the two would be more fun to sit next to for several hours in the car? Although I may not be a sparkly fairy sprinkling happy dust whither soever I go, I do try my best to be optimistic.

Even in the worst of situations there is always something humorous or enjoyable to laugh and smile about.

The morning my family had to pack up all our belongings into the car was a hectic one. We had just lived in Oxford for four months and were preparing to embark on a two-month-long driving trip around Europe. Somehow, someone decided it was a good idea to take all of our things to a storage unit before heading immediately to the ferry. That left us only enough time to take everything in one carload. Whatever did not fit in the car would be left behind.

My brother, the designated packer, started strategically cramming luggage and boxes in the car. We would be traveling in a gray Peugeot minivan which seated seven, allowing no extra seats for storing additional luggage. (There were 7 of us.)

It was like an evil, real-life game of Tetris.

As we hauled out box after box and suitcase after suitcase, we began to get worried. The back of the car was already full and there were still many, many cases cluttered around on the ground. For some in the family, tension turned to open frustration. Things were not looking good. In a desperate last attempt, we did what seemed like the only option left: everyone got in and my brother started packing things under, around, and on top of each of us. I have no idea how we managed to fit everything in that car.

As we pulled away from the house I couldn’t even turn around and get one last look at what had been my home for several months; instead my face was smashed against a box.

I was unable to turn my head and, although facing the inside of the car, was unable to see any other member of my family. The only person with any sense of space and comfort was my dad because he was driving. The mood in the car was not a pleasant one. At least, until the thought of how ridiculous we must have looked made me smile. I burst out laughing.

Laughing hurt. I laughed harder.

Before long everyone was laughing and the atmosphere immediately changed from utter agony to enjoyment.

In a pie of frustration and depression, there was the tiniest sliver of happiness and I had dished it out for the entire family to enjoy.

Our last memory of our home in Oxford was a happy one because we had made the best we could out of, what seemed at the time, the worst of circumstances.

STORY 2: AS SLOW AS SNAILS…OR MOLASSES…OR GRASS GROWING

Though I had defeated the hopelessness of that situation, there was yet another situation to test my ability to laugh through hard things. After crossing the Channel (with a lighter load having abandoned all but a few suitcases in our storage unit) we set our course toward our new destination: Milly-la-Foret, France. Only about 3 hours into our approximated six-hour journey for the day we ran into heavy traffic.

Now when I saw heavy, I mean that we would only move an inch every few minutes.

Groans started coming from somewhere near the front of the car. It was then that I took the matter into my own hands. After clearing my throat I made a proposal: we all get out of the car and run twenty laps around the car. For some family members it took a little persuading, but in the end all were pressured into the exercise. As soon as we opened the car doors, strange looks flew our way from our neighboring traffic-stopped car passengers.

A family of seven is rarely even heard of in Europe, and there we were, running around the car.

Even Amy, only three at the time, was going as fast as she could. Running became difficult as we doubled over in laughter. Apparently, our smiles rubbed off on a few other people because several onlookers were pointing and smiling. After lap twenty we all jumped back in the car just as the car in front of us moved forward a few feet. It no longer felt as if we had been imprisoned in an inhuman environment. We were energized and were able to bear the rest of the waiting until traffic picked up once more and we could once again maintain normal travel speed.

That day of being in the car together could have become one of the worst days of my life up to that point in time. Instead, I remember it as being a happy highlight and wonderful family bonding time.

Laughing: a secret weapons for moms. AKA laugh at half-empty glasses.

During our trip I realized how easy it is to be happy when things are going great. The real test of optimism, and being able to laugh through tough times, comes when situations take a turn for the worse.

Sometimes we find ourselves jammed into a car with a ridiculous number of suitcases or stuck on the highway for hours on end. Other times we experience the monotony of folding the same pile of socks, washing the same plastic dishes, and wiping the same sticky fingers. Maybe get to be the lucky winner (again) to wash poop off the wall, hide in the towel closet because that’s the only quite place in the house (see picture below), or find our new shirt cut into pieces by toddler-sized scissors.

Those not-so-good situations just happen in life, and they seem to especially happen to moms.

Luckily, we can find the positive inside the negative, resulting in a happy ending for not only for ourselves and our entire family, but also other onlookers.

This might mean writing love notes on the bottom of all the monotonous socks with a sharpie. (My mom wrote RWLY, which means remember who loves you, to some of our socks.) It might mean having a #momlife photo of the month that you share on social media. (The poop-on-the-wall-photo is sure to take the cake.) Or it simply might mean stashing white chocolate chips in the towel closet for when it has to be used as a hiding place.

And when we do decide to laugh instead of be mad, we will, perhaps, always wonder just how many people we affect by that small moment of decision.

Wouldn’t it be great if all the glasses out there were half-full? Or if we could at least laugh at all the half-empty glasses?

We can choose to make the habit of optimism a strategy to turn to again and again. Although it can sometimes be tough, we can try to chase the good. Regardless of the external world and situations, feeling good about life and making the most of it will bring happiness. Few things in the world are more revitalizing than a positive push, a smile, an optimistic outlook on life, and laughing.

Learn something while reading “Laughing: A Secret Weapons for Moms”? Have a fun/awful/memorable story to share? Please comment below! We would love to hear from you.