In the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, members from the congregation are asked to give talks, or to speak, each week in front of the whole congregation. We are given a topic as a prompt and then let the Spirit direct us as we prepare and deliver our talk. The topic I was asked to speak on was “How Can I Serve Others Selflessly?” Here is what I shared:

How Can I Serve Others Selflessly?

Selfless Service

“There is something extra special and sacred about the love that a mother has for her child. In his October 2015 General Conference talk, Elder Jeffrey R Holland said, “No love in mortality comes closer to approximating the pure love of Jesus Christ than the selfless love a devoted mother has for her child.”

To become a mother, I give up quite a lot. I was studying business strategy at Brigham Young University and had always planned to be a business strategist consultant. I married Nathaniel and quickly realized that the lifestyle of a business consultant and a stay-at-home mother did not work well together, especially with Nathaniel wanting to go to medical school. So I pivoted in my career path. I also gave up a lot of my freedom, time, and–let’s just say that physically there is no going back.

It is safe to say that my pregnancy, delivery, and my first year as being a mother was anything but graceful. It was…interesting. At one point, when I was about 1/3 of the way through pregnancy, Nathaniel walks through the door and finding me sobbing. I was sitting cross-legged on the couch with a giant tub of yogurt and Costco-sized box of crackers, stuffing my face. He didn’t really know what to say.

Another time, which was much closer to my actual delivery date, I was trying to mail my sister a birthday card. I went to open the front door to put the letter into the mailbox, and I saw the mailman drive away. I just lost it! It was the saddest thing ever to me then. It’s funny now, but I was an emotional and hormonal train wreck.

In this building four years ago, I remember only being able to make it through sacrament meeting as long as I put my feet up on the bench. By the time I stood up, my feet were so swollen that they were pouring over the tops of my shoes. It would hurt so much that I would have to hide in the car during second hour with my feet up on the window to make it through the last hour of church.

I had a preeclamptic pregnancy, so the hospital photos look…not great. My whole body was super swollen, and I ended up having kidney damage. My first year of motherhood was spent here in Rochester, away from family, and Nathaniel had just started a rigorous and demanding four years of medical school here. The cold Minnesota winter hit soon after my daughter was born, and she was colicky her whole first year of life. It was hard. Motherhood was hard.

I have my mom here visiting today and two of my sisters. My own mom is so selfless and has love me selflessly. I think that is one of her divine characteristics. I will always remember a time when I was in junior high school. I had a musical rehearsal and I needed a white shirt but knew it was dirty. I had a thought just to go look, and in my laundry cubby was this beautiful white clean shirt. For some reason I’ve never forgotten that because it was one presentation of so many thousands of small acts of service that my mother did for me without being asked.

I can’t help but get emotional when I think about when I was diagnosed with type 1 diabetes at the age of five. I can’t imagine the love my mom must have had for me to drive to my school everyday for several years to give me my insulin shot during lunch. The principal wouldn’t let us do the shot in the cafeteria because it could scare their other kids, so my mom would take me to the nurse’s office and give me my shot there.

And I don’t even know all the times she must have woken up in the middle of the night to go check on me and make sure I was okay while sleeping. I got to the point where I wouldn’t even wake up when she would check my blood sugar at night because I was so used to it, which is a testament to the fact of all the times that she served me. Despite the financial burden I must have been, she loved me the same if not more after being diagnosed.

So, why is motherhood worth it? Why is it so desirable to become a mother? I didn’t even really like kids while I was growing up, and I didn’t like babysitting at all. It wasn’t the best. It wasn’t my favorite thing. But when I married Nathaniel, my desire to become a mother was palpable. In the three years it took to have Zoey, I shed a lot of tears for her. Really, I think that desire to be a mother stems from the fact that I knew that it was part of my divine assignment here on Earth, and I knew that deep down that that  being a mother was part of my purpose.

Christ’s Perfect Example

In Elder Holland’s talk, he speaks of the Savior. He said, “Prophesying of the Savior’s Atonement, Isaiah wrote, ‘He hath borne our griefs, and carried our sorrows.’….[Jesus] came into the world … to bear the sins of the world…. ‘Hear your great Deliv’rer’s voice!’” Elder Holland connects the words that we often relate with Christ and mothers, words like bear, carry, and deliver.

This language cannot only be applied to motherhood, it can also be applied to our baptismal covenants. In Mosiah 18: 8-9 it says that those we are baptized are called to be His people and are willing to bear one another’s burdens that they may be light. I thought that was really interesting.

The fact that each of those examples (i.e., Christ’s Atonement, motherhood, and baptismal covenants) there is some sweat equity involved. Those are burden cumbersome words. It’s not just we will just helps someone. It is bearing and struggling with them. These words connote fatigue. Basically, from Elder Holland’s talk and what we read in Mosiah 18, we have been asked to do as the Savior did: bear one another’s burdens and to serve others selflessly.

Apart from Heavenly Father, Heavenly Mother, and our Savior, the love of a mother transcends all. So how do we harness the kind of love that mothers have when they carry and bear and deliver a child, and borrow those same ideas and apply it to service? I thought that perhaps adoption could help us with that.

When Nathaniel and I adopted our daughter Iris, it felt quite different but the love was very much there. For over a year we worked really hard, and I especially put in an emotional effort to get her. We put in a lot of financial effort as well as time. The sweat equity was there.

I will never forget seeing Iris for the first time. When they came to get us from the hospital waiting room following her birth, I ran towards her. The second I saw her in her little bed, tears just started coming down my cheeks. I knew that she was mine and that it was up to Nathaniel and me to create a beautiful life for her. I had the love of a mother for her. This love moved us to protect her, provide a life for her, and love her unconditionally.

Obviously, I did not carry her or bear her or deliver her. So what we can learn from this is that motherly love can be applied in more ways than the traditional sense.

The Emotions of Christ

Ways in which we can better serve and love others selflessly can be found in 3rd Nephi 17. We find here an example that the Savior sets for us. P.S. This is seriously one of the best chapters in the whole Book of Mormon. It’s very special, sacred, and rather fascinating because we catch a glimpse of the Savior’s emotions recently after He performs the Atonement. I made a list of all the words that convey emotion found within this chapter. In verse 5: the people were in tears. In verse 6: Christ had compassion. Verse 7: Christ had compassion. Verse 10: the people were in tears. (Spoiler alert–most of the tears in this chapter are tears of joy.) Verse 14: Christ goans and is troubled because of the wickedness of the people of Israel. Verse 17: the people had joy. Verse 18: the people had joy. Verse 20: Christ had joy. Verse 21: Christ weeps. Verse 22: Christ weeps again. Don’t you love this?!

 

With the idea of emotion mind, let’s take a look at what the Savior’s actually teaching about serving others as he is serving the people of Nephi. (Note: these aren’t in chronological order.)

Behold Others

Christ beholds others. In verse 23 and 24 it says, “Behold your little ones. And as they looked to behold they cast their eyes towards heaven, and they saw the heavens open, and they saw angels descending out of heaven as it were in the midst of fire; and they came down and encircled those little ones about, and they were encircled about with fire; and the angels did minister unto them.” I find this word “behold” rather interesting. Christ doesn’t say just look over there at them or just glance at them real quick. He says to behold them. So, he is asking the people to look beyond what they initially see. And I wonder how this same scripture might have been different if people had just glanced casually over, would they have seen the angels? And the miracles? Christ teaches us to be hold others.

When we see people differently our hearts are changed, because we see them more for who they really are, and we love them more. Because of that, we want to do more for them.

When I first Nathaniel’s dad, Lane, I was terrified of him. He is a thick forearmed guy, rides Harleys, builds cars out in his shop, and hunts. My dad was not anything like that. I have learned to look past the rough and tough guy Lane is and love the teddy bear inside. Living in Nathaniel’s parents basement for a year really helped that.

I remember one specific moment where I was sitting at their kitchen table, and I was in the kitchen. I looked over at Lane and I beheld him. I looked at him and I saw his imperfections but his desire to try and be his best self, and I had so much love for him. My heart softened. I will never forget just be holding him while he was sitting there.

Put In Sweat Equity

Another thing that Christ teaches us, that we can see in verses 12 and 21 of 35 chapter 17 is Christ putting in some sweat equity. I kind of talked about that before but in verse 12. It says, “They brought their little children and set them down upon the ground round about him, and Jesus stood in the midst; and the multitude gave way till they had all been brought unto him.” And then in verse 21 it says, “he took their little children, one by one, and blessed them, and prayed unto the Father for them.” So, you really see that Christ waited for everyone to come. He wanted all the children to come. And then one by one He ministered unto them. He put in that sweat equity, in that time.

I just remember when I got called into primary, and I was like, “Are you sure?! Do you really want me in primary?” Again, I was not a kid person, but I showed up every week to primary to teach these little five-year-olds, and I really grew to love them. They would say hi to me even when they didn’t have to, like at Stake Conference. I really did just learn to love them as I served them and put in that sweat equity.

Allow Compassion Move You to Action

Christ shows us another way in which we can service others selflessly. In 3 Nephi 17: 5-6 it says, speaking of Christ, “He cast his eyes round about again on the multitude, and beheld they were in tears, and did look steadfastly upon him as if they would ask him to tarry a little longer with them.”  So, Christ is about to leave, but he beholds them and he says, “Behold, my bowels are filled with compassion towards you.” Christ follows a prompting from the Spirit and chose to stay. Service is sometimes, if not often, inconvenient and may be potentially embarrassing at times. But the Holy Ghost and Heavenly Father know better than we do when others need help.

I can’t help but think of a time when we had just gotten back from adopting Iris in Seattle. Our experience there was beautiful but so hard. We had been gone for weeks and Nathaniel had to come back early to start school again. After days of waiting for clearance to travel with an adopted newborn and nights of very little sleep, I spent a whole day flying alone with a three-year-old and a brand new baby. To cut costs, I had two connecting flights and a 1.5 hour shuttle ride. Right when we got home, my ministering sister showed up with a whole laundry basket full of food. I just remember being like, “Oh my goodness! How did you know? How did you know that was exactly what I really needed?” This sister has 7 kids, a busy husband, and countless other things to do. Yet she felt a prompting and chose to act on it.

Testimony

I have a testimony about following the example of the Savior by serving others selflessly. As we behold others, put in sweat equity, and allow promptings to move us into action, we follow His example. As we serve as Christ did, we are changed in the process. We become more like Him.

We each right now have opportunities to serve. We are put in unique places and given unique talents so that we can serve where we’re needed. I hope that we can all feel what Julie B. Beck said, “You are doing better than you think you are. But we can be better.” That really applies to service in our lives. I hope that we can see it as part of our divine assignment to serve and love selflessly, to serve and love as Christ did. I say that in the name of Jesus Christ, amen.”

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